There's a biography on my life that was published in 2003 when I was 16 called Sam: The Boy Behind the Mask. I'm that Sam. Here's an update 12 years later;
FIFTEEN YEARS AFTER MY COMA
Hello. My name is Sam Lightner. I turned thirty years old on October 6th of this year. In October of 2000, I managed to fall into a coma for 2 and a half months, waking up right around the start of winter 2000. I have now been alive almost as many years after my coma as I was alive before my coma. Honestly, I really don?t know why I?m still here today, and the coma is not the only reason I say that, but I am here, so I?m going to talk about it. The book, (biography about mine and my families life when I was born until the age of 16), ended with me going back to Grant High School in Portland Oregon in 2001. I graduated from Grant with the class of 2004 at age 18. It was my goal upon returning in September 2001 to not only graduate with my class of 2004 but to also walk on my feet across the stage with someone walking me. After 3 years of help from a physical therapist in the halls of Grant, I walked across the stage with help from one of the girls from the class of 2004. I was going through physical rehab and had a whole year of work to make up but I managed to earn a regular degree in those 3 years. After I graduated, I went to PCC?s South East campus for about 2 years, taking half of a credit-load. I didn?t know where I was headed so I dropped out at age 20. I managed to stay away from drinking in high school but the same year I dropped out of PCC, I also discovered alcohol. (The two events weren?t related.) For whatever reason, I really dug getting totally wasted and making an ass of myself. It got freaking ridiculous at times too? The drinking is partly why I said earlier the coma is not the only reason I say I don?t know why I?m alive today. In April 2008, when I was 22, my dad was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. He passed on June 2nd, 2008. It was really hard on me and my family. At the same time, we?d been watching him get worse since about mid-May. I think it was a bit of a relief to know he?s no longer suffering anymore. His passing didn?t really cause me to drink anymore? I?d say I was drinking too much already, which is not at all the image I wanted my dad to leave with about me, but that?s the way it happened so I get to live with that burden. In 2010 I decided to take a few more classes, this time at PCC?s Cascade campus. That worked out for a while but in the summer of 2011, I dropped out because I felt like I was wandering aimlessly. I also wanted to start receiving help from a psychologist since dealing with my disabilities was becoming more difficult than in years past. I started seeing a psychologist in the summer of 2011. A move in which I wish I would have made earlier. It was decided that moving out on my own would be the best option so I applied to live in a subsidized apartment complex for disabled citizens out in Gresham. I waited on a waiting list until July 2013 and on July 3rd I moved in. In late July 2014, my mental health had declined to the point that I had to be admitted to the mental ward of OHSU for 8 days. I was really questioning my existence because I was 28 and didn?t know where my life was going. I was sent home on psychoactive drugs but had to be re-admitted to the hospital in October because I was still having questionable thoughts.That time I was there until mid-November. Since then I?ve just been hanging out in my apartment. Still trying to figure my life out, just not having questionable thoughts. I?m talking to my case manager and my psychologist and am looking for what I can do. Right now, since about late July, I've really been waking up from where ever I?ve been for the past year. One thing I really want to do is get into public speaking so I figured this would be a really good place to start. As for the drinking, I slowed way down in 2012 and stopped in 2013. Today though I go to the bar sometimes and occasionally will buy some whisky. I also have smoked marijuana off and on, mostly on, for about 8 years. (And this is Oregon so that's kinda cool.) Anyway, I find it helps me with relaxing and just being happy. I?ve been told by a few people that it likely contributes to my anxiety and paranoia. I?m not going to say that?s completely wrong, but I also don?t think that?s the primary cause of the anxiety or paranoia. I think my medical past has caused way more damage than marijuana can or has or ever is going to. And besides, it?s my life, I?m 30 years old, I don?t really know how I made it this far in life but I did, so I really just want to smoke my marijuana and enjoy myself. Summing up today, I am writing this today to let you know that I am still here and, like I said above, I?m doing the best I can with what I have. I am also writing this because I need to do something different. I?m hoping sharing my story will help get me out of the dark some. Thank you for listening!
CHEERS EVERYONE!! :beer2:
FIFTEEN YEARS AFTER MY COMA
Hello. My name is Sam Lightner. I turned thirty years old on October 6th of this year. In October of 2000, I managed to fall into a coma for 2 and a half months, waking up right around the start of winter 2000. I have now been alive almost as many years after my coma as I was alive before my coma. Honestly, I really don?t know why I?m still here today, and the coma is not the only reason I say that, but I am here, so I?m going to talk about it. The book, (biography about mine and my families life when I was born until the age of 16), ended with me going back to Grant High School in Portland Oregon in 2001. I graduated from Grant with the class of 2004 at age 18. It was my goal upon returning in September 2001 to not only graduate with my class of 2004 but to also walk on my feet across the stage with someone walking me. After 3 years of help from a physical therapist in the halls of Grant, I walked across the stage with help from one of the girls from the class of 2004. I was going through physical rehab and had a whole year of work to make up but I managed to earn a regular degree in those 3 years. After I graduated, I went to PCC?s South East campus for about 2 years, taking half of a credit-load. I didn?t know where I was headed so I dropped out at age 20. I managed to stay away from drinking in high school but the same year I dropped out of PCC, I also discovered alcohol. (The two events weren?t related.) For whatever reason, I really dug getting totally wasted and making an ass of myself. It got freaking ridiculous at times too? The drinking is partly why I said earlier the coma is not the only reason I say I don?t know why I?m alive today. In April 2008, when I was 22, my dad was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. He passed on June 2nd, 2008. It was really hard on me and my family. At the same time, we?d been watching him get worse since about mid-May. I think it was a bit of a relief to know he?s no longer suffering anymore. His passing didn?t really cause me to drink anymore? I?d say I was drinking too much already, which is not at all the image I wanted my dad to leave with about me, but that?s the way it happened so I get to live with that burden. In 2010 I decided to take a few more classes, this time at PCC?s Cascade campus. That worked out for a while but in the summer of 2011, I dropped out because I felt like I was wandering aimlessly. I also wanted to start receiving help from a psychologist since dealing with my disabilities was becoming more difficult than in years past. I started seeing a psychologist in the summer of 2011. A move in which I wish I would have made earlier. It was decided that moving out on my own would be the best option so I applied to live in a subsidized apartment complex for disabled citizens out in Gresham. I waited on a waiting list until July 2013 and on July 3rd I moved in. In late July 2014, my mental health had declined to the point that I had to be admitted to the mental ward of OHSU for 8 days. I was really questioning my existence because I was 28 and didn?t know where my life was going. I was sent home on psychoactive drugs but had to be re-admitted to the hospital in October because I was still having questionable thoughts.That time I was there until mid-November. Since then I?ve just been hanging out in my apartment. Still trying to figure my life out, just not having questionable thoughts. I?m talking to my case manager and my psychologist and am looking for what I can do. Right now, since about late July, I've really been waking up from where ever I?ve been for the past year. One thing I really want to do is get into public speaking so I figured this would be a really good place to start. As for the drinking, I slowed way down in 2012 and stopped in 2013. Today though I go to the bar sometimes and occasionally will buy some whisky. I also have smoked marijuana off and on, mostly on, for about 8 years. (And this is Oregon so that's kinda cool.) Anyway, I find it helps me with relaxing and just being happy. I?ve been told by a few people that it likely contributes to my anxiety and paranoia. I?m not going to say that?s completely wrong, but I also don?t think that?s the primary cause of the anxiety or paranoia. I think my medical past has caused way more damage than marijuana can or has or ever is going to. And besides, it?s my life, I?m 30 years old, I don?t really know how I made it this far in life but I did, so I really just want to smoke my marijuana and enjoy myself. Summing up today, I am writing this today to let you know that I am still here and, like I said above, I?m doing the best I can with what I have. I am also writing this because I need to do something different. I?m hoping sharing my story will help get me out of the dark some. Thank you for listening!
CHEERS EVERYONE!! :beer2:
Update on my life;
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