I know I am not the most liked person on this site, but I am hoping you will still send me some good vibes anyway. I am having a very hard time trying to contain my composure. The past few days have been okay, but lately my anxiety is getting worse. I went to a urologist about a week ago, and left feeling very afraid.
To fill you in on some background, I went in because I was having some problems with leaking and clogging from my sp tube. About a year ago they found a stone and it was removed a few weeks later. I had about two months of leak free days, until it all started up again. The leaking was just too much so I considered having surgery to have an alternate method, possibly an Indiana pouch for voiding my urine. I wanted someone with more experience in the field so I was sent to another doctor who has performed numerous surgeries such as this.
I went for a consult, and he wanted to perform a procedure (the name escapes me at the moment) where a camera is used in the bladder to look at possible problems inside, before considering any type of surgeries. We were both able to see on a computer screen what was captured by the camera. Everything looked fine, except for one area where he noticed a lesion. Now I have to be admitted into the hospital to have the lesion removed and have it biopsied. I have been for the most part keeping this all to myself. The anxiety, I mean. I have told two family members, who are both telling me not to panic and to wait for the results of the biopsy. I'm scared. I live alone and I feel alone. I have been tying to distract myself, which has been working to some degree.
I'm not really sure why I am posting this here. I guess I just need to ramble on a little and not worry about worrying too much.
To fill you in on some background, I went in because I was having some problems with leaking and clogging from my sp tube. About a year ago they found a stone and it was removed a few weeks later. I had about two months of leak free days, until it all started up again. The leaking was just too much so I considered having surgery to have an alternate method, possibly an Indiana pouch for voiding my urine. I wanted someone with more experience in the field so I was sent to another doctor who has performed numerous surgeries such as this.
I went for a consult, and he wanted to perform a procedure (the name escapes me at the moment) where a camera is used in the bladder to look at possible problems inside, before considering any type of surgeries. We were both able to see on a computer screen what was captured by the camera. Everything looked fine, except for one area where he noticed a lesion. Now I have to be admitted into the hospital to have the lesion removed and have it biopsied. I have been for the most part keeping this all to myself. The anxiety, I mean. I have told two family members, who are both telling me not to panic and to wait for the results of the biopsy. I'm scared. I live alone and I feel alone. I have been tying to distract myself, which has been working to some degree.
I'm not really sure why I am posting this here. I guess I just need to ramble on a little and not worry about worrying too much.
Anxiety
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