... and I thought I made this wheelchair thing look about as graceful as can be expected.
I just got back to the apartment I'm temporarily staying in around 4 am Sunday morning after a night hanging out with the homies. For the apartment building I'm at there are only two disabled spots which share the crosshatch area and the ramp. I've been here two weeks now and me and this other car always park in the disabled spots, but I've never seen the driver until tonight.
I assumed the driver of the other car was a wheelchair user, because he drove a full size two door car (the identical make and model as mine, just a different color) and he always parked with the driver's side door facing the crosshatch, though I never bothered peeking in the window to see if I could spot some hand controls (that seems kinda creepy). Plus the apartments are full of young professionals, so I figured the odds of it just being an old person with a disabled permit for COPD or heart failure was kinda low.
Anyway, tonight I get home and see the other car is there, and it has the door closed and a rigid ultralight chair sitting in the crosshatch with the driver chilling in the car chatting with a passenger. He looks to be my ageish, 20s or 30s. My first thought is "cool it's another cripple, how often do you get to meet another (probably) SCIer just out and about in the real world?"
So I back into the spot and swing open my door. I can't quite get it all the way open without hitting his chair, but that's not a big deal, I've got enough room. I say "Hey, how's it going?" and he says "Hi.". So I proceed to exit the vehicle, because it seems weird to strike up a conversation while sitting in my car that's now turned off. I chuck the frame of my chair out of the car in one fluid motion, without struggling, and as I reach into the back seat to grab the first wheel, he says...
"Do you need some help?"
I didn't know how to respond, so he gets the default response that's built into me from ABs asking, "Nah, I'm good." and I tossed the wheels on, hopped in the chair and rolled off. I'm not mean to ignorant people, but I'm sure as shit not gonna hang around and chat with you.
I'm still trying to process (what seems to me) the ridiculousness of that statement. First off, ABs say it from time to time, but maybe once out of 100 encounters when someone is in the car right next to me... it's a pretty rare thing. But, he's in a chair.... I get that he might not be a para or even have an SCI, but he's got some idea of what a person in a wheelchair can do, cuz he drives a car as well.
And then there's the thing that I don't understand when ABs ask the question. Did you really think I drove here (at 4 in the morning mind you) and planned on just sitting in the car until someone came along to help me unload my chair?!?!?!? Do you know how to assemble a wheelchair (okay so here he probably does), and if so do you somehow think you can assemble my chair, which you've never seen before, faster or easier than I can???
And on top of those thoughts I have when I ponder AB's perception of me disembarking my vehicle there's the practical... this young gentleman (my age, who drives the exact same car and uses the exact same type of wheelchair) must necessarily think that there's at least a remote possibility that him opening his car door, getting into his wheelchair, moving over to my car and assembling my chair was going to in some way be helpful to me.
Anywho, that's an overly long story because I'm tired and not drunk enough. I just thought the question was weird coming from another cripple. Maybe it just made him feel less disabled to ask another cripple if they need help... it certainly made me think he was just as ignorant as most ABs.
...then again, maybe it was one of you in that silver Toyota Solara... wouldn't that be awkward.
I just got back to the apartment I'm temporarily staying in around 4 am Sunday morning after a night hanging out with the homies. For the apartment building I'm at there are only two disabled spots which share the crosshatch area and the ramp. I've been here two weeks now and me and this other car always park in the disabled spots, but I've never seen the driver until tonight.
I assumed the driver of the other car was a wheelchair user, because he drove a full size two door car (the identical make and model as mine, just a different color) and he always parked with the driver's side door facing the crosshatch, though I never bothered peeking in the window to see if I could spot some hand controls (that seems kinda creepy). Plus the apartments are full of young professionals, so I figured the odds of it just being an old person with a disabled permit for COPD or heart failure was kinda low.
Anyway, tonight I get home and see the other car is there, and it has the door closed and a rigid ultralight chair sitting in the crosshatch with the driver chilling in the car chatting with a passenger. He looks to be my ageish, 20s or 30s. My first thought is "cool it's another cripple, how often do you get to meet another (probably) SCIer just out and about in the real world?"
So I back into the spot and swing open my door. I can't quite get it all the way open without hitting his chair, but that's not a big deal, I've got enough room. I say "Hey, how's it going?" and he says "Hi.". So I proceed to exit the vehicle, because it seems weird to strike up a conversation while sitting in my car that's now turned off. I chuck the frame of my chair out of the car in one fluid motion, without struggling, and as I reach into the back seat to grab the first wheel, he says...
"Do you need some help?"
I didn't know how to respond, so he gets the default response that's built into me from ABs asking, "Nah, I'm good." and I tossed the wheels on, hopped in the chair and rolled off. I'm not mean to ignorant people, but I'm sure as shit not gonna hang around and chat with you.
I'm still trying to process (what seems to me) the ridiculousness of that statement. First off, ABs say it from time to time, but maybe once out of 100 encounters when someone is in the car right next to me... it's a pretty rare thing. But, he's in a chair.... I get that he might not be a para or even have an SCI, but he's got some idea of what a person in a wheelchair can do, cuz he drives a car as well.
And then there's the thing that I don't understand when ABs ask the question. Did you really think I drove here (at 4 in the morning mind you) and planned on just sitting in the car until someone came along to help me unload my chair?!?!?!? Do you know how to assemble a wheelchair (okay so here he probably does), and if so do you somehow think you can assemble my chair, which you've never seen before, faster or easier than I can???
And on top of those thoughts I have when I ponder AB's perception of me disembarking my vehicle there's the practical... this young gentleman (my age, who drives the exact same car and uses the exact same type of wheelchair) must necessarily think that there's at least a remote possibility that him opening his car door, getting into his wheelchair, moving over to my car and assembling my chair was going to in some way be helpful to me.
Anywho, that's an overly long story because I'm tired and not drunk enough. I just thought the question was weird coming from another cripple. Maybe it just made him feel less disabled to ask another cripple if they need help... it certainly made me think he was just as ignorant as most ABs.
...then again, maybe it was one of you in that silver Toyota Solara... wouldn't that be awkward.
Another cripple asked me "Do you need help?"
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