This past summer was the third since my injury! And despite my high injury and my proclaimed by a few select members on here "bad attitude" I got up to quite a bit considering my dependence, financials, inability to find help etc. Mostly to do with the fact I decided to pursue my friends where as the previous years, I didn't want to burden them or limit them with my presence you know the whole accessibility limits, battery life, leg bag, AD, potential accidents A staggeringly longer list than I care to make. Thusmost rarely or didn't at all try to get a hold of me. But now because of a falling out I have moved to the city, I know my mother quite a bit of money to look up to me and she is still able to work on line. I do this because I do not dilute myself that I am independent by obliterating a large sum of money on a accessible home, and having caregivers coming twice a day, not my idea nor definition of independence. And you know what I like being able to sleep in or stay up late every now and then. Something that can't be done when I utilize caregiving organizations same time every morning and every night that's when I get up that's when I go to bed, I'll pass on that "independence". But by moving to the city no longer in my hometown where a lot of my family lives, but let's be honest during the winter my friends are all gone and I didn't really see my cousins all too much, when there's even a few inches of snow I can't even get outside back home. But I digress, I haven't been up to a lot since. Mostly just managing by seemingly inevitable side affects. And becoming a more frequent poster sorry. When it was still relatively warm out I decided I'd be a big boy take the train all by myself get the taxi drivers to handle my bags, go visit a friend was having a party. was having a party. You know expected him to handle me at night! See iam opening myself up to this in my eyes disgraceful way of life. It's not the "big stuff" anyways I showered and did my treatment (had it done :D) so basically it's a easy night carry me in bed,Strip me down attach the night bag. Well in the middle of the party having a good time I ended up shitting myself, I just got quiet and figured I'd sit in it until I catch my train The next day, come home with a nice present for my mom or nurse ( they help sometimes not with that stuff tho). At bedtime my friend ended up getting it out of me what had happened, and my best friends since grade two Wrapped up my clothes and cleaned the shitfrom under me. Luckily he and I were both very intoxicated, but I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that one . Ah whatever right I broke my neck so it's perfectly acceptable :D...
Anyways other then going to see the new James Bond movie, physio haven't really done anything since. BUT I was in the hospital for 10 days with a serious kidney infection keeping my fever over 40, i've also had many times at least six in the last two months because of dysreflexia and blocked catheter. Plus I had a bedsore to boot, and my spasms have become relentless, Bad enough for me to up my baclofen. I have always had full body spasms, and bad nerve pain but I did everything I could to tough it out and stay off as much drugs as possible. They exasperate The associated decay after paralysis and are not idea when trying to actually fight the disability. Now I got a supra pubic catheter Because I had so many infections that I had become resistant to most antibiotics, I was sick people touching me down there, and I can't do that myself and having somebody do them every four hours destroys a Day that has enough limitations that can't be avoided. But something is obviously wrong! I had the kidney infection my urologist was away, when it kept clogging she was away again, so I tried another urologist one that had to remove stones for me. He ended up rushing me in last week Because I had to go back to the ER and my kidneys are taking a beating at the old age of 23! So that sucked everything out of my bladder put in a 24fr from a 14. So much blood! I ve recovered since that it was relatively minor although A.D. make any surgery potentially life-threatening if you insist on being killed if a stroke does occur. But guess what, it's flowing but I'm still getting AD randomly while I sit in my chair, sometimes really bad. An hour ago it was so bad I had to check down there, and for whatever reason I was pissing through my penis . When you have is high pressure in your bladder as me that's bad and my right flank area is killing me. This is been happening the last couple days, it starts with a chill, small chill. I think oh no not again, then the chills get worse slowly leading to head pain and heart pounding which all combined and get worse, then my entire body spasms shakes and seizes together all from just pissing, don't ask me why that causes such Dysreflexia. bp does too but that's not random and I'm prepared for it, and it's usually not as painful And severe.
Now I am the last gimp to just expect society to accommodate me because I broke my neck! I don't expect parking spots to be close and empty, I don't expect ramps to be dumped everywhere, I sure as hell don't expect taxpayers to pay for me to be taken care of because of my shortcomings. But one thing that does bother me It's hospitals don't have lifts available all around, or fully understand what AD is.because honestly going to the ER just because you are having bad ADis pointless, you might as well just try and figure it out yourself. This really bothers me, because I asked to be left alone in that swamp after my accident, I then asked to refuse care of a few occasions to save myself from a life of dependence but those choices were made for me, . So if the medical community is only offering the option to live like this, and be taken care of well then if things are getting worse be prepared to deal with it Fuck, put me under, kill me, just don't look at we all miserable and surprised because I can't get myself in bed, fuck.
OK OK, I can't really avoid these things, for whatever reason they won't stop. I have good quality medical supplies though duette catheters arent available available in Canada, and sometimes my leg bags holds urine in the tube even though there is room in the bag. The one of you guys know the best Leg bag?? And my kidney pain is giving me a lot of anxiety that be my least preferred way to go, at least one of them. But this Saturday for the first time in two months I'm supposed to go to the Christmas party hang out with people my own age, drink alcohol you know try to have a little bit Of fun, but I can't shake the fact that I might piss myself i'm not taking my mother or caregiver, they'll be lots of girls there . So fuck!!
So frustrating because I've been so sick, and continue to get sick and I understand that a lot of this is inevitable with paralysis The whole dysreflexia, osteoporosis in my bones, infections etc. But I eat raw garlic everyday, I only drink water and fresh chai tea, and every day I drink a raw pure organic vegetable smoothie a mass of 3 times a day, trust me when I say few people could do this, and I know a lot of health nuts , I don't drink pop, I don't eat candies I rarely eat out, I eat organic chicken and get my fish, i get all of my vitamins and minerals etc you can see it in my hair nails and skin and tea and yes I don't catch a cold or the flu even when people I live with do. But I'm still in agony, I'm still technically unhealthy very unhealthy in fact. It's mind numbing. All I can think of is the argument I got in on apparalyzed with a T12bodybuilder how he tried to tell me that spinal cord injury doesn't mean we are not less healthy to our able-bodied counterpart which is garbage.even though he openly admitted osteoporosis infections all that fun stuff is to be expected, even though he openly admitted osteoporosis infections all that fun stuff is to be expected after spinal cord injury. Right now there's some guy that lives up Chito's and Pepsi's playing World of Warcraft 24 seven that won't get a kidney stone, UTI let alone osteoporosis till he's elderly.
Anyways other then going to see the new James Bond movie, physio haven't really done anything since. BUT I was in the hospital for 10 days with a serious kidney infection keeping my fever over 40, i've also had many times at least six in the last two months because of dysreflexia and blocked catheter. Plus I had a bedsore to boot, and my spasms have become relentless, Bad enough for me to up my baclofen. I have always had full body spasms, and bad nerve pain but I did everything I could to tough it out and stay off as much drugs as possible. They exasperate The associated decay after paralysis and are not idea when trying to actually fight the disability. Now I got a supra pubic catheter Because I had so many infections that I had become resistant to most antibiotics, I was sick people touching me down there, and I can't do that myself and having somebody do them every four hours destroys a Day that has enough limitations that can't be avoided. But something is obviously wrong! I had the kidney infection my urologist was away, when it kept clogging she was away again, so I tried another urologist one that had to remove stones for me. He ended up rushing me in last week Because I had to go back to the ER and my kidneys are taking a beating at the old age of 23! So that sucked everything out of my bladder put in a 24fr from a 14. So much blood! I ve recovered since that it was relatively minor although A.D. make any surgery potentially life-threatening if you insist on being killed if a stroke does occur. But guess what, it's flowing but I'm still getting AD randomly while I sit in my chair, sometimes really bad. An hour ago it was so bad I had to check down there, and for whatever reason I was pissing through my penis . When you have is high pressure in your bladder as me that's bad and my right flank area is killing me. This is been happening the last couple days, it starts with a chill, small chill. I think oh no not again, then the chills get worse slowly leading to head pain and heart pounding which all combined and get worse, then my entire body spasms shakes and seizes together all from just pissing, don't ask me why that causes such Dysreflexia. bp does too but that's not random and I'm prepared for it, and it's usually not as painful And severe.
Now I am the last gimp to just expect society to accommodate me because I broke my neck! I don't expect parking spots to be close and empty, I don't expect ramps to be dumped everywhere, I sure as hell don't expect taxpayers to pay for me to be taken care of because of my shortcomings. But one thing that does bother me It's hospitals don't have lifts available all around, or fully understand what AD is.because honestly going to the ER just because you are having bad ADis pointless, you might as well just try and figure it out yourself. This really bothers me, because I asked to be left alone in that swamp after my accident, I then asked to refuse care of a few occasions to save myself from a life of dependence but those choices were made for me, . So if the medical community is only offering the option to live like this, and be taken care of well then if things are getting worse be prepared to deal with it Fuck, put me under, kill me, just don't look at we all miserable and surprised because I can't get myself in bed, fuck.
OK OK, I can't really avoid these things, for whatever reason they won't stop. I have good quality medical supplies though duette catheters arent available available in Canada, and sometimes my leg bags holds urine in the tube even though there is room in the bag. The one of you guys know the best Leg bag?? And my kidney pain is giving me a lot of anxiety that be my least preferred way to go, at least one of them. But this Saturday for the first time in two months I'm supposed to go to the Christmas party hang out with people my own age, drink alcohol you know try to have a little bit Of fun, but I can't shake the fact that I might piss myself i'm not taking my mother or caregiver, they'll be lots of girls there . So fuck!!
So frustrating because I've been so sick, and continue to get sick and I understand that a lot of this is inevitable with paralysis The whole dysreflexia, osteoporosis in my bones, infections etc. But I eat raw garlic everyday, I only drink water and fresh chai tea, and every day I drink a raw pure organic vegetable smoothie a mass of 3 times a day, trust me when I say few people could do this, and I know a lot of health nuts , I don't drink pop, I don't eat candies I rarely eat out, I eat organic chicken and get my fish, i get all of my vitamins and minerals etc you can see it in my hair nails and skin and tea and yes I don't catch a cold or the flu even when people I live with do. But I'm still in agony, I'm still technically unhealthy very unhealthy in fact. It's mind numbing. All I can think of is the argument I got in on apparalyzed with a T12bodybuilder how he tried to tell me that spinal cord injury doesn't mean we are not less healthy to our able-bodied counterpart which is garbage.even though he openly admitted osteoporosis infections all that fun stuff is to be expected, even though he openly admitted osteoporosis infections all that fun stuff is to be expected after spinal cord injury. Right now there's some guy that lives up Chito's and Pepsi's playing World of Warcraft 24 seven that won't get a kidney stone, UTI let alone osteoporosis till he's elderly.
Inevitable
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